Domestic goddess breakdown or keepsake anxiety

Maybe I'm the only person who worries about these things, but I often get paranoid about losing pictures and important keepsakes even though I know they are safe.

I've never been one to scrapbook or even put a photo album together which means I have a ton of photos developed just sitting in boxes waiting for frames.  Sometimes when I think about this I have a minor panic attack thinking "oh no" what if I lose them forever?  Then I get this grand idea to develop a bunch of photos and frame them all.  Then I forget about it, or I develop all the photos and realize, "hm" I don't really want to display all of these photos.

It's funny how we get caught up in the need to display and protect all of our memories in pictures and get overwhelmed by the daunting task of putting them together.  I remember ending my scrap booking career in tears and starting many "great" ideas but not finishing them. Some people just have that knack for putting things together and they love doing it, but the thought just makes me nauseous.

I think it's a perfectionist thing to worry over these things and to end up accumulating paper after paper, card after card that may have sentimental value to you and you think you'll someday display but ultimately take up a lot of space and cannot really represent the treasured memories you have within your heart and soul.

Over the years I've become much better about handling my "keepsake" anxiety and learned to accept that I'm no Martha Stewart.  I've become a big fan of french memory boards, mainly because I can interchange the photos I want to display.

My next step is to breakdown and buy a decent photo album and just start putting pictures I've developed in it so that I at least have them organized and can rearrange them and date them later on, without the anxiety of creating a theme or themed page.  I will also do this in small steps so I don't get overwhelmed or over excited and begin another rash but "great" idea.

I'm also going to begin painting my own wall art and stop looking for the perfect art to hang and match.  I want to create large color blocks on canvas and a Coca-cola collage (Bryce loves vintage Coke stuff).

I realize that I probably sound like a crazy person, but there's got to be someone else out there who suffers similarly.

I often have to talk myself down from anxiety by my favorite cognitive therapy exercise I like to call "worst case scenario".   This applies to a lot of situations, but I often apply it to the "what if everything was destroyed in say a fire" and I force myself to walk through the anxiety.  And guess what? I come out realizing that at the end of the day things are just things, and nothing can destroy the memories stored within ourselves.  I'm a living display of many memories.  Pictures are nice, keepsakes are nice, but if I lost every-THING, I would be just fine.

Sometimes, I wonder if it might be somewhat freeing to own nothing but what you can carry.  I regularly try to reduce clutter and let go of silly things I've attached sentimental value too.  And shockingly (ha ha) it has reduced my anxiety.

Another thing that I've tried to do recently is re-use and recycle.  If I can get something as a hand me down or at Goodwill or other thrift shop I will and, I feel much better about my purchase.  The excess and waste of typical Americans becomes only too real and brutal when one walks down the aisles of Goodwill.  It conjures images of the giant mountains of garbage in movies like Wall-E and Idiocracy.

 We don't have to buy everything new and just because something is a few years old does not mean it's garbage.  Plus, my Good Will hunts have produced some unique items along with interesting adventures and stories with my fellow hunters.

It took me a long time and being a poor college student to learn this simple lesson.  It also took a long time to convince my husband to shop at good will too, but he is welcoming it more and more.  Especially after his mother revealed to him that she bought all his shirts at Good Will when he was growing like a weed in early middle school. Needless to say Bryce was shocked and it made us laugh hysterically.

All this being said we don't have to deny ourselves and turn to thrifting for everything.  It is nice to buy new things, especially if we need them and can't find them elsewhere.  And of course there are just some things you can't avoid buying new (i.e. lingerie and socks...he he he.)

Nevertheless we need to be mindful and be good stewards of the earth.  It was hard to de-clutter and learn to reuse and recycle at first and is still hard sometimes, but ultimately it causes a lot less anxiety for this psycho at the end of the day.

This post has been mainly a rant for me, so I hope no one will be offended by my strong opinions..lol  and mostly it is meant to help distract me from cleaning my apartment from top to bottom at ten o'clock at night.

From the diary of a perfectionist, until 2011 and the 30 days of blogging challenge.

Vacation is almost here...

I'm taking my first vacation since I started working at University Advancement.  I will be off starting tomorrow through Monday.  That's right a whole week!

I am thrilled to have some much needed me time and family time and puppy time.

We finished most of our Christmas shopping on Saturday and had a blast shopping for friends and family.  This year we decided to do antique gifts for everyone.  We were mostly successful and found a lot of fun and personalized things.   Like:

Just for laughs:(for my mom)

 

and her favorite dishware (Blue Danube) that she is always on the hunt for because it is rare and expensive to find it:

For my father who is into smoking his tobacco pipe again...a vintage tin for him to store his tobacco

And the list goes on...

We had such a great time shopping for these gifts.  Bryce was very patient...lol... and was very helpful in picking out gifts for his side of the family.

Weight loss and office work

To date I've lost 12 lbs!  Hooray!  I'm still enjoying my meetings and making good progress with eating habits etc.

Recently I've been reflecting on the culture of office work and particularly state work.  I have learned a lot in the last six months about organizational behavior and office subculture.

Here are some of the most important things I've learned so far:

1. Always say thank you.  Especially to the people who have very repetitive and sometimes crappy jobs. AKA the people who never get thanked. I can't imagine processing invoices all day long or being a cashier and having to deal with cranky students and parents. A simple, sincere thank you goes a long way and has definitely helped my reputation among university staff, students and donors.

 2.  Always be polite.  You cannot judge a donor by the clothes they wear or the car they drive.  That old guy that walked through the door could be one of the largest supporters of the university or one of the most respected professors of all time.  Also remember that our ultimate purpose (here at the University) is to be there for the students.  So be nice to the students!  Encourage them, ask them how they are doing, and set an example of kindness for them . I can't tell you how much I've learned from students talking to me. I remember being a student and have the utmost respect for how hard they work.  Most of them anyways lol.

3. Over-Communicate. Don't assume the other person knows exactly what you are doing and what you need from them.  Double check with them.  Tell them to feel free to ask questions and of course be polite and thankful about it.   Be clear and followup.

4.  Don't be too proud to ask for help.  I have several mentors here at work and I'm always asking their advice.  Don't be afraid to ask for multiple opinions and talk ideas out with several people.  You never know what you will learn.

5. Don't take everything personally.  When people criticize your work they are usually just trying to help.  Granted they may not always be very tactful about it, but take what you can from it and move on.  If someone is in a bad mood, don't assume it has anything to do with you and be aware that they may have things going on in their personal lives that are affecting their work.  Be sensitive and assess when to approach them, if at all.

6.  Be grateful for your job.  If you hate yours, well that's a different story I suppose, but no one loves everything about their job.  Identify the things that really inspire you and use those to power you through your workday and inspire new ideas.  Reflect on why you do the work you do.  Sometimes when I get discouraged I like to read journals or news on Art Education or Administration to give me new ideas and remind me that I'm not alone in my quest to keep the arts alive.

7. Don't talk negatively about other people at work.  Gossip and rude comments about co-workers always spell trouble.  If you are frustrated with someone talk to a supervisor, friend or other confidant not involved in the situation.  Don't go around the office telling everyone how mad you are at so and so.  Try to see it from the other person's perspective and take a step back to assess your own behavior.   

8.  Limit your exposure to energy vampires.  If certain people drain you or emotionally dump on you, don't engage.  Sometimes I pretend to listen to people ( I know that's terrible) or find an excuse to cut the conversation short.  Energy vampires and negative people love to bring others down.  I remember one very distinct phone conversation with an older co-worker in a different department:

Me: Hello?
Person:  Hi it's so and so. Are we having fun yet?
Me: Well, yes I'm always having fun.
Person:  Well you won't after a couple years.

OUCH.

9. Smile.  Acknowledge everyone.  This goes back to the whole being polite to everyone.

10.  Work to live, don't live to work.  Life is too short for your job to become everything to you.  Find something outside of work the inspires you and re-energizes you, whether its your spouse, kids, puppy, a hobby, your friends, etc.

I'm limiting myself to ten key things right now, but I learn new things everyday.  I feel so fortunate to work with such a great group of people who are caring, understanding and encouraging.