Domestic goddess breakdown or keepsake anxiety

Maybe I'm the only person who worries about these things, but I often get paranoid about losing pictures and important keepsakes even though I know they are safe.

I've never been one to scrapbook or even put a photo album together which means I have a ton of photos developed just sitting in boxes waiting for frames.  Sometimes when I think about this I have a minor panic attack thinking "oh no" what if I lose them forever?  Then I get this grand idea to develop a bunch of photos and frame them all.  Then I forget about it, or I develop all the photos and realize, "hm" I don't really want to display all of these photos.

It's funny how we get caught up in the need to display and protect all of our memories in pictures and get overwhelmed by the daunting task of putting them together.  I remember ending my scrap booking career in tears and starting many "great" ideas but not finishing them. Some people just have that knack for putting things together and they love doing it, but the thought just makes me nauseous.

I think it's a perfectionist thing to worry over these things and to end up accumulating paper after paper, card after card that may have sentimental value to you and you think you'll someday display but ultimately take up a lot of space and cannot really represent the treasured memories you have within your heart and soul.

Over the years I've become much better about handling my "keepsake" anxiety and learned to accept that I'm no Martha Stewart.  I've become a big fan of french memory boards, mainly because I can interchange the photos I want to display.

My next step is to breakdown and buy a decent photo album and just start putting pictures I've developed in it so that I at least have them organized and can rearrange them and date them later on, without the anxiety of creating a theme or themed page.  I will also do this in small steps so I don't get overwhelmed or over excited and begin another rash but "great" idea.

I'm also going to begin painting my own wall art and stop looking for the perfect art to hang and match.  I want to create large color blocks on canvas and a Coca-cola collage (Bryce loves vintage Coke stuff).

I realize that I probably sound like a crazy person, but there's got to be someone else out there who suffers similarly.

I often have to talk myself down from anxiety by my favorite cognitive therapy exercise I like to call "worst case scenario".   This applies to a lot of situations, but I often apply it to the "what if everything was destroyed in say a fire" and I force myself to walk through the anxiety.  And guess what? I come out realizing that at the end of the day things are just things, and nothing can destroy the memories stored within ourselves.  I'm a living display of many memories.  Pictures are nice, keepsakes are nice, but if I lost every-THING, I would be just fine.

Sometimes, I wonder if it might be somewhat freeing to own nothing but what you can carry.  I regularly try to reduce clutter and let go of silly things I've attached sentimental value too.  And shockingly (ha ha) it has reduced my anxiety.

Another thing that I've tried to do recently is re-use and recycle.  If I can get something as a hand me down or at Goodwill or other thrift shop I will and, I feel much better about my purchase.  The excess and waste of typical Americans becomes only too real and brutal when one walks down the aisles of Goodwill.  It conjures images of the giant mountains of garbage in movies like Wall-E and Idiocracy.

 We don't have to buy everything new and just because something is a few years old does not mean it's garbage.  Plus, my Good Will hunts have produced some unique items along with interesting adventures and stories with my fellow hunters.

It took me a long time and being a poor college student to learn this simple lesson.  It also took a long time to convince my husband to shop at good will too, but he is welcoming it more and more.  Especially after his mother revealed to him that she bought all his shirts at Good Will when he was growing like a weed in early middle school. Needless to say Bryce was shocked and it made us laugh hysterically.

All this being said we don't have to deny ourselves and turn to thrifting for everything.  It is nice to buy new things, especially if we need them and can't find them elsewhere.  And of course there are just some things you can't avoid buying new (i.e. lingerie and socks...he he he.)

Nevertheless we need to be mindful and be good stewards of the earth.  It was hard to de-clutter and learn to reuse and recycle at first and is still hard sometimes, but ultimately it causes a lot less anxiety for this psycho at the end of the day.

This post has been mainly a rant for me, so I hope no one will be offended by my strong opinions..lol  and mostly it is meant to help distract me from cleaning my apartment from top to bottom at ten o'clock at night.

From the diary of a perfectionist, until 2011 and the 30 days of blogging challenge.

Vacation is almost here...

I'm taking my first vacation since I started working at University Advancement.  I will be off starting tomorrow through Monday.  That's right a whole week!

I am thrilled to have some much needed me time and family time and puppy time.

We finished most of our Christmas shopping on Saturday and had a blast shopping for friends and family.  This year we decided to do antique gifts for everyone.  We were mostly successful and found a lot of fun and personalized things.   Like:

Just for laughs:(for my mom)

 

and her favorite dishware (Blue Danube) that she is always on the hunt for because it is rare and expensive to find it:

For my father who is into smoking his tobacco pipe again...a vintage tin for him to store his tobacco

And the list goes on...

We had such a great time shopping for these gifts.  Bryce was very patient...lol... and was very helpful in picking out gifts for his side of the family.

Weight loss and office work

To date I've lost 12 lbs!  Hooray!  I'm still enjoying my meetings and making good progress with eating habits etc.

Recently I've been reflecting on the culture of office work and particularly state work.  I have learned a lot in the last six months about organizational behavior and office subculture.

Here are some of the most important things I've learned so far:

1. Always say thank you.  Especially to the people who have very repetitive and sometimes crappy jobs. AKA the people who never get thanked. I can't imagine processing invoices all day long or being a cashier and having to deal with cranky students and parents. A simple, sincere thank you goes a long way and has definitely helped my reputation among university staff, students and donors.

 2.  Always be polite.  You cannot judge a donor by the clothes they wear or the car they drive.  That old guy that walked through the door could be one of the largest supporters of the university or one of the most respected professors of all time.  Also remember that our ultimate purpose (here at the University) is to be there for the students.  So be nice to the students!  Encourage them, ask them how they are doing, and set an example of kindness for them . I can't tell you how much I've learned from students talking to me. I remember being a student and have the utmost respect for how hard they work.  Most of them anyways lol.

3. Over-Communicate. Don't assume the other person knows exactly what you are doing and what you need from them.  Double check with them.  Tell them to feel free to ask questions and of course be polite and thankful about it.   Be clear and followup.

4.  Don't be too proud to ask for help.  I have several mentors here at work and I'm always asking their advice.  Don't be afraid to ask for multiple opinions and talk ideas out with several people.  You never know what you will learn.

5. Don't take everything personally.  When people criticize your work they are usually just trying to help.  Granted they may not always be very tactful about it, but take what you can from it and move on.  If someone is in a bad mood, don't assume it has anything to do with you and be aware that they may have things going on in their personal lives that are affecting their work.  Be sensitive and assess when to approach them, if at all.

6.  Be grateful for your job.  If you hate yours, well that's a different story I suppose, but no one loves everything about their job.  Identify the things that really inspire you and use those to power you through your workday and inspire new ideas.  Reflect on why you do the work you do.  Sometimes when I get discouraged I like to read journals or news on Art Education or Administration to give me new ideas and remind me that I'm not alone in my quest to keep the arts alive.

7. Don't talk negatively about other people at work.  Gossip and rude comments about co-workers always spell trouble.  If you are frustrated with someone talk to a supervisor, friend or other confidant not involved in the situation.  Don't go around the office telling everyone how mad you are at so and so.  Try to see it from the other person's perspective and take a step back to assess your own behavior.   

8.  Limit your exposure to energy vampires.  If certain people drain you or emotionally dump on you, don't engage.  Sometimes I pretend to listen to people ( I know that's terrible) or find an excuse to cut the conversation short.  Energy vampires and negative people love to bring others down.  I remember one very distinct phone conversation with an older co-worker in a different department:

Me: Hello?
Person:  Hi it's so and so. Are we having fun yet?
Me: Well, yes I'm always having fun.
Person:  Well you won't after a couple years.

OUCH.

9. Smile.  Acknowledge everyone.  This goes back to the whole being polite to everyone.

10.  Work to live, don't live to work.  Life is too short for your job to become everything to you.  Find something outside of work the inspires you and re-energizes you, whether its your spouse, kids, puppy, a hobby, your friends, etc.

I'm limiting myself to ten key things right now, but I learn new things everyday.  I feel so fortunate to work with such a great group of people who are caring, understanding and encouraging.

Weight Watchers

Recently I joined weight watchers and have been very successful so far, having lost almost 10 lbs!  Our benefits here at WOU allow us to enroll in Weight Watchers for free. We even have an at work meeting at the library on Tuesdays.

After years of struggling with weight issues and high cholesterol I thought, "Fine, I'll try it" and as I said it really works!  Weight Watchers is my AA if you know what I mean, I MUST go to the meetings.  It makes such a difference to be around other people working towards similar goals.

Our leader asked us to think of what was the turning point in deciding to commit to WW and to write it down somewhere so we can remember it on tough days.  Although it was not necessary to share it with anyone, I thought what the heck, go for it.  I have openly told everyone that I am on weight watchers and I think it has helped me succeed that much more because I'm not doing it on my own and others are supportive of me.  Friends and family members have been really nice about making dinners WW friendly for me.

So here goes:

The true turning point for me and the reason I ultimately chose to join WW was when:

Over the course of a weekend I ate an entire batch of Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies.  By myself.

Can we say rock bottom?

Looking back on it I can laugh, but it was definitely the turning point.  My ultimate goal is to be maintaining my goal weight before I have children.  It has been shown that children born to overweight mothers are much more likely to be overweight or obese from childhood into adulthood.  Of course this may be also due to the eating habits they learn from their parents, but there is definitely a genetic component involved.

I look forward to this new adventure in life.

Plus, when I reach my goal weight I'm going to be a total hottie. LOL.

I'm Thankful For

My health

My caring, funny, wonderful husband

My family

My (crazy) friends

My spirituality

Puppy kisses at 5:00 Am

My amazing job, co-workers and boss (es)

Our cozy warm apartment

New socks 

Frozen dark chocolate candy bars

Pumpkin pie

Love

Laughter, so much laughter

There is always something to be thankful for!

The Chronicle of Philanthropy

 I am a newcomer to the world of non-profits, university advancement and arts administration so I try to take advantage of every opportunity to read and learn whatever I can about this industry I am part of.  I recently stumbled on an article in my new favorite publication The Chronicle of Philanthropy titled "Generation Gaps Threaten Nonprofit World's Harmony" by Heather Joslyn that struck me as an excellent article on a problem that we at our office are facing.

 The article outlines the four main generations of people in the workforce today: Silent Generation (born during The Great Depression and WWII) Baby Boomers (1946-64) Generation X (1965-81) and the Millenials (1982-present). 

Our office at WOU represents all but one of these generations (The Silent Generation), however we do interact with many donors and board volunteers from that generation. As stated in the article these wide range of age groups can cause tensions among employees.  Although our office has begun to embrace these differences it still remains an issue in day to day communication and work ethic. 

I was really struck by the comparisons between the Baby Boomers and Millenials (of which I am part) and the many similarities between them, particularly the "Let's Just Do It" attitude.  At the same time, the Millenials are more comfortable with technology and adapting to new technology.  In addition the Millenials tend to blend the various parts of their lives and do not "affiliate work with their location" (i.e. checking work emails at home).

The section titled "Postponed Exits" was particularly meaningful to me as I have a mentor at work who I do not believe will completely retire once she turns 65 next year.  I think it is very beneficial for older employees to remain available in part time or advisory positions.  They are like a knowledge and experience database that you can search and access at any time.  I have been very grateful for the opportunity to have a mentor to watch over my work and guide me, while at the same time giving me enough independence to grow my leadership skills.

The Generation X group is also fascinating to me. In the article, the author states there is a feeling among this generation that they have been skipped over for the Millenials, due to the fact the Gen X-ers tend to be more skeptical and more hesitant, often questioning "Are we doing the right thing?"  or "Is this how we should go about doing this?".  I think part of the issue is Gen X-ers were pushed in their younger years towards "big business, big money"  and have now in their 30s rebelled against that and sought other careers, while the Milennials and the Baby Boomers have felt more free to explore, experiment and find what makes them happy.   The Gen-Xers skepticism is fueled by the disallusionment experienced in the "Big business, big money" world of the 1980s. 

The main point of the article is that we need to be able to acknowledge and appreciate these cultural differences and have a means to discuss the way they affect our organizations and work ethic.  I think that beginning the discussion can be as simple as passing on an article such as this to other co-workers and having a discussion about it.  And that's exactly what I did!  :)

Your turn Organic Eloquence!

If you'd like to read the article I have placed it as a jpeg below, just click on it to make it bigger.  It is unfortunately not accessible through the Chronicle's website.

Puppy Time

We'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our family....

 Kelly

Kelly is a 3 month old border terrier/labrador retriever mix that we adopted on Saturday from the Willamette Humane Society.  She is a wonderful puppy and has brought much joy to us in the short time she has been with us so far.

 

Bryce and I have often ventured out to the humane society or "puppyland" as we call it and have dreamed about having a dog, but the timing was just not right for us and we had not met a dog that we liked.  Any dog person (or cat person for that matter) can tell you that the right puppy will "speak to you" and you will know.  I suppose it's the closest thing to love at first sight.

Well it was definitely love at first sight for Bryce on Saturday when we went browsing through the dog area. We recognized her as part border terrier, because Bryce's mother has a pure bred.  Bryce asked if we could take her into a visiting room and well, long story short they took to each other (and so did I) and we went home with puppy in tow.

The humane society was so incredible. They gave us several bags of food, a free crate and helped us choose the right treats and toys for her and the adoption fee included registration for puppy kindergarten.

The first night was difficult for her and when we tried to crate her at bed time she had a fit.  So we set up potty pads in our bedroom and let her stay in her doggy bed on the floor next to us.  There were lots of accidents that day and night, but on Halloween we began immediately training her to ring bells hanging from our sliding glass door when she needed to go out. 

Let me tell you!  That is one smart puppy!  We have now been virtually accident free for the last two days and nights due to Bryce's excellent training.  He has loved having her and being a "stay at home puppy daddy".  They go for walks, watch movies together and she hangs out in the den when he has to work on his writing and/or playing video games. And she sleeps all the way through the night snuggled up in our bed, mostly at my feet.

If you're not a pet person you can't fathom how much having a pet enriches your life.  I can literally feel my stress levels down and I grumble less when I get up for work in the morning because she is there to greet me at 5:30 am. Bryce has such a special relationship with  and gentle heart towards animals, especially dogs and you can see it in his relationship with Kelly.  I think it is also helping him feel like he is contributing more to our family.  He has been somewhat sad lately because finding work has been difficult.  Plus, it's excellent practice for babies...ha ha ha. 

We look forward to this new chapter in our life and encourage you to come meet Kelly if you are ever in the area.  Little puppies need to be socialized early on and she loves meeting new people.

MORE PUPPY PICTURES!

 Kelly loves Bryce's snuggie.

 BFFs

 Learning to love the crate.

 She loves to sleep on piles of blankets.

Her bowls are still a little big for her, but she'll grow into them.

1 Year Anniversary

I know it's been a long time since I blogged. But I have good excuses..ha ha.  It has been a busy summer and fall so far.  At the end of August I was hired permanently as the Smith Fine Arts Series Program Assistant at the WOU Foundation . I love my job and continue to learn new things everyday.

A few weeks after I was hired Bryce and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary.  We went to a wonderful bed and breakfast in Yachats, OR for the weekend.  I could not help but reflect on what a big first year it has been.  Married, finished college, first real professional job.  Things really do work out after all and worrying too much does no good.

Here are some highlights from our trip.

I hope to blog more frequently now that things have settled down.

The "Ahti" room at the bed and breakfast.

The upstairs loft/living room. The light was amazing.

 Beautiful, sunny Oregon Coast...very unusual.

Walking on the beach after a long drive.

The Sea Spirit Bed and Breakfast. We learned on Sunday morning that Shania Twain had stopped there on Saturday night to stay.

Some cute couple we met...lol

We did not spend much time sitting outside, but the views were great and I had to get a picture of these two chairs together!

Graduation

On Saturday June 12, 2010 Bryce and I (finally) graduated from college!  Bryce earned is BA in English/Writing and I received a BM in Contemporary Music.

Bryce is still in the process of looking for work, but I start on Monday June 28th working for the University Music Series, Smith Fine Arts.

Bryce and his Mom

About 700 hundred people walked and a total of over 1000 people graduated this year and they called out every name of those walking.

Bryce and big Sis Melissa

"Yay me!"

  "Look ma, we're college graduates!"

The Adams side of the family

Finally I posted!

I realized I haven't posted in quite awhile!  Things have been so busy for us this term.

Yesterday was my senior recital and I feel so happy to be done!  It was a great recital and lots of people turned out to see it, even my old choir director from high school, Mr. Russell.  I am still recovering from the recital but feeling great!

Graduation is so close and we are getting very excited!  We purchased our caps and gown last month, it feels unreal!


Meanwhile, we are still enjoying our classes and the last term of school!  Bryce is taking a poetry class this term and has really enjoyed learning how to write poetry.  He was worried that he would be in a class of self proclaimed experts, which there are always a few in every class, but overall he has really learned a lot from his professor and peers.  He thinks one of his advantages is he is not very familiar with famous poetry, so he does not try to emulate any particular author, he is just himself.  Below are a few of the most recent poems he has written:


Our Smoke Detector
 by Bryce Adams

Stoic at his post our smoke detector sits
barely containing his excitement
Dinner time has arrived, and the stove,
warming a pot to boil, hums to the tune of pasta.
Our smoke detector, stoic at his post,
loves cooking of all sorts,
ravioli, grilled cheese, hamburger stroganoff,
all delight him endlessly.
If he could, he'd hop down from his
bedroom perch and watch cooking shows with us.
instead, our smoke detector sings!
He sings food songs for all to hear,
one could call him overzealous,
for we often have to calm him,
with soft touch, and, harshly
shut the bedroom door, denying him the delicious smells
he so adamantly pines for.
Only a chirp he releases from then on,
as testaments to his lost love.
Are we such horrible people?



Love Poem (class exercise)-untitled
by Bryce Adams

Your forehead greets my lips
like a silk pillow.  It gives
every so slightly and warms;
and folds into wrinkles.
I know you're smiling.

Midterms

This week is midterms.  We're halfway through, then only one more term and we're done.  Bryce and I are beginning to look for jobs or at least get an idea for what kinds of jobs we are qualified for.  In this economy getting a job is tough, but we are just hoping for the best.  Bryce is particularly interested in working for Fish & Wildlife or the Forestry Service.  As for me, I'm looking for more office or clerical jobs, such as an office assistant or administrative assistant.

Planning for my senior recital is going well, despite some setbacks.  It is going to be a great program; all 20th century British and American Art Song.  I know that not everyone will understand or appreciate it, but my professors, my close friends and my family will.  

Recently Bryce and I bought a Wii Fit and we have really used it!  I think it has helped me stay active even on those cold, rainy Oregon days.  We are both trying to eat healthier, exercise and drop some weight and the Wii Fit has helped us a lot.  Plus, our friends love to come over and use it too!

Christmas and New Years

It's been awhile since I updated our blog.  Here are some pictures from our first Christmas together and New Years!  We have had a very relaxing break and are looking forward to Winter Term.
                                                      
                                              Our little Christmas tree, its fiberoptic!

                                                      Bryce said HE was my Christmas present! Too cute!

Christmas Dinner...YUM!

                                            
                                            Cookies for Santa...

    Bryce refused to make a normal face for pictures! Silly! A little Zoolander-ish no?

       Bryce's friend Dan caught a great picture of us laughing while trying to pose for a New Years picture