Content in my restlessness.

I was very hesitant to post this because it has been a very long time since I have sat down to write a poem.  I wrote a lot of poems throughout my K-12 years, many that would make you laugh, but are deeply personal to me.  However, I felt compelled to make this post a poem instead of my usual random rant.  So here goes:

I am content in my restlessness.

My mind wanders 

dreaming up new plans

I am happy with the thought of change.

My heart is open

welcoming the restless experience

I am resistant to the notion of normal.

My soul refuses

definitions of any kind

I have adapted to this place.

My body rests

patiently waiting for the signal

I am only afraid of happiness.

My practicality disagrees

saying I am unacceptable

I have settled in my restlessness.

My life continues

basking in the beauty of uncertainty

Whittle

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." ~Raymond Hull

We live in a world where people who sacrifice their personal health and well-being are seen as heroes and those that work to achieve balance between work and life are seen as selfish or lazy. We receive conflicting messages throughout our lives.  What we hear is not what we see.

What happens to these heroes when they sacrifice so much that there is nothing left for them or for their families? They whittle away, taking one chip at a time out of their emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Is it worth it in the end?

I will not trim myself to suit society or to keep up with the sacrifices of my coworkers.
I will not sacrifice my health and well-being for my career.
I will not compare myself to others.
I will not let others categorize or minimize my achievements.

Call me lazy, selfish, small-minded, lacking creativity and dedication.

Call me what you want, but when I'm 80 years old I don't want to look back on my life and say "I wish I'd taken better care of myself" and "I wish I'd spent more time with my family".

It's 5pm.  I'm going home.

America's Next Top Model

Sometimes I really wonder if Kelly thinks she is a model.  She is sure a ham in front of the camera.  Here are some of her best shots from a recent "photo shoot".

Contemplative Puppy

"Oh no you didn't"

Rigor mortis puppy

Ridiculous

So. Tired.

Dreaming of a better world puppy

Oh, no thank you, I'm not ready to get up yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crazy Dog.

Happy Anniversary

Bryce and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary on Monday!  Happy times!  We had a VERY nice dinner out to celebrate.  These two years have gone by fast and we look forward to many more years to come!

Also, this lucky girl got a Kindle for her anniversary present!

Fall 2011

I received my official admissions letter on Tuesday!  I will be attending (online) Marylhurst University to earn my Master's in Business Administration with a focus in Non-profit management.  Yeehaw!  I am so excited to go back to school AND still be able to work.

Here's some pretty pictures of the campus and a link to their website.

Wreck. Opportunity. Challenge. Strength.

“Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called “the love of your fate.” Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength is there. Any disaster that you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow.

Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.”

Joseph Campbell

Misconceptions

Boy this has been a rough week.  One of my darkest in a while.  It's nice to see though that there are so many more resources out there for people with depression and anxiety disorders.  I found this through Kaiser Permanente.  https://kphealthylifestyles.org/toolbox/programcomponent.html?page=DepressionLibrary  :

How much do you really know about depression?

People often offer the advice to “snap out of it” or “pull yourself up by the boot­straps.” But the reality of depression is much more complicated. Many of us hold a number of false beliefs about depression—beliefs which may keep us from getting help. Below are some common misconceptions about depression. Take time to read these—you may find you have some mistaken beliefs about depression.

I would know if I were depressed.

It isn’t always obvious when a person is depressed. Many people mislabel depression as boredom, job stress, marital unhappiness, and so on. Men, who often experience more anger and irritability than sadness when they are depressed, may not recog­nize these as symptoms of depression. Similarly, many depressed adolescents insist they’d be fine if their parents and teachers left them alone. And large numbers of depressed people appear in their doctor’s office complaining of a variety of physical symptoms.

If you don’t feel sad, you’re not depressed.

Not everyone who suffers from depression experienc­es a lot of sadness. In fact, some report few, if any, sad periods. Instead, people with depression may feel excessive anxiety, anger, irritability, jealousy, or other negative emotions. Also, some people who suf­fer from depression experience a lack of all emotions, including positive feelings. They may report feeling “flat” or “dead” inside much of the time. Lack of pleasure is often a key sign of depression. Some people, particu­larly depressed adolescents, may complain of boredom, attributing their negative moods to the environment.

If you’re depressed, you feel lousy most of the time.

Symptoms of depression can change from day to day, or even hour to hour. Although many depressed people feel bad most of the time, others may report that at times they feel perfectly fine. However, these people may find their moods are much too variable, inconsistent, and/or intense. They may plunge into despair with no warning or react with anger over mi­nor matters. Early morning is often a difficult time for people who are depressed.

If you can still work or function, you don’t have “clinical depression.”

Being unable to work or perform other functions reflects the most severe level of depression anyone could experience. Many clinically depressed people remain capable of carrying out their daily responsibili­ties, though perhaps at a lower level of efficiency or enjoyment. In fact, non-busy times may be the most difficult. These people generally do “function,” but usually at a great cost to themselves—they suffer a great deal of inner turmoil and pain just to get through each day. Not surprisingly, a depressed person’s closest relationships may also suffer negatively from their symptoms.

If you’re “functioning” in a similar manner, please know you have a right to expect more out of your life.

Medication and psychotherapy are for people who are really “bad off.”

Medication and psychotherapy (talk therapy) can be used to improve the quality of life of anyone touched by depression. Medication and/or psychotherapy can help prevent things from deteriorating to the point where the individual cannot function. Why wait until you hit rock bottom when your life can begin to improve now? If you’re willing to treat physical symp­toms, such as headache or indigestion before they greatly impact your life, why treat depressive symp­toms differently?

Most people choose to be depressed.

Most of people who have been depressed know that at our lowest points we would have gladly done anything to feel better. However, we may see our situ­ations as impossible. Feeling helpless and unable to make changes in our lives can create powerful feel­ings of despair. Such despair often causes depressed individuals to avoid other people, become inactive, and not take initiative in solving their problems. They may appear “lazy” to themselves and to others.

In reality, depressed people don’t want to be de­pressed, but symptoms such as fatigue, lack of moti­vation, and hopelessness may hold them back.

Depression is a sign of weakness.

Many creative, powerful, and famous people through­out history have had to cope with depression. The fact they were able to make significant achievements, despite contending with depression attests to their strength, not their weakness. People who are de­pressed aren’t likely to look at themselves accurately or helpfully, and may become overly concerned with whether they appear to be weak or strong. Because weakness implies a character flaw, this concern interferes with seeking treatment. In actuality, feel­ing better—getting/having relief from the debilitating symptoms of depression—is a sign of how “strong” one is. Many of us would argue strong people are those who own up to personal difficulties rather than denying them, and are willing to admit to themselves when they need help finding solutions to their problems.

I have nothing to be depressed about.

Trying to talk yourself out of depression only adds insult to injury and often results in further stress. Depression can result from a variety of causes, including a wide range of biological, psychologi­cal, and environmental factors. It’s not necessary to have a specific “trigger” event or situation to become depressed. You don’t need to justify your feelings. In fact, a person may become severely depressed at a time when everything seems to be going well. Those depressive symptoms that appear without an identifi­able cause often are biologically based and respond well to treatment, especially medication.

Like Kanye

Sometimes I wish I was like Kanye West.

"Smarter. Better. Faster. Stronger."


Seriously though, does anyone else experience those days?  If only I were smarter, if only I could be more efficient, if only I could clone myself.

Today was that day for me.  I have so many hopes for the Smith Series and would love to implement a lot of new strategies and ideas, but it always seems that time and brain cells are against me. I feel as though I am grasping at an idea, a strategy, something that I am missing and can't reach. I start comparing myself to others and envy the confidence and ability with which they do their jobs. And how much smarter everyone else seems!

I suppose that is the blessing and the curse of being a perfectionist.  We want to be perfect and because we want to be perfect we work damn hard to get there. It is also a result of my musical training I think too.  Musicians are always striving to perfect their craft, hoping that next time they'll get that one phrase right, or hit that high note that's been troubling them.

I see my work as an arts administrator as a craft that is always evolving and I will always be working towards "smarter, better, faster, stronger".  I believe so strongly in the impact of the arts in people's lives and the importance of preserving our musical culture. That is the heart of why I "doooo eeeeet".

If I take a step back though, I realize that this passion is the most important skill. Anyone can be trained to do just about anything, but you can't train someone to have passion and drive. If I love what I do how can I fail? I can always give my best even if not everything gets done, or I'm not able to achieve all that I would like.

Oh yeah, did I mention I've only been at this job for a little over a year?

And oh yeah, did I mention this is my first real job post college?

All in good time I suppose.

Slacker

Well the title sort of speaks for itself.  I have been a big ol' slacker.  My 31 flavors friend has been blogging up a storm and I am way behind.

Here's your update!

I made it through the auction in one piece and it was quite successful.  Although we did not raise as much money as I would have hoped, it was a successful event and people had a good time.

Bryce and I took a lovely vacation in Southern Oregon to visit family and relax!  It was my first paid vacation!   I took a whole week off.  It was really good for me, especially since I was starting to get CRANKY lol.

And finally the biggest news to date is I will be *fingers crossed* returning to graduate school in the Fall.  I am applying for an accelerated online MBA program and specializing in non-profit management.  I am very excited to start my classes.  In 18 months I will be a MASTER!

That's all for now kids.  I'm out of blogging shape that's for sure!

26.6

That's right ladies and gentlemen!  I have surpassed the 25lb mark in Weight Watchers!  It feels amazing!  And I only have about 16 lbs left to go.  Here are a few before and after pictures of my weight loss journey so far...I'll be sure to post one when I reach my goal weight.

July 2010

July 2011

Cancer Sucks

My mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and will be going for surgery on July 11th and then at least a week of radiation therapy post surgery.

Her prognosis is VERY GOOD and they caught it at an early stage.  Nevertheless, I was surprised when she told me and I'm still worried as is normal. But there's nothing I can do, it is what it is and the best thing is to just stay positive, particularly because it is the best case scenario, when it comes to breast cancer. I think I was more surprised that of all things it was cancer.  That was something that never entered my mind.  Our family history is more along the lines of heart disease and other issues, but not cancer.

Anyways, I want to put together a nice care package for her, since we will not be able to see her for a few weeks after the surgery (she'll have an open catheter (?) in her chest and will need to be careful of infection).  I thought I would ask my fellow blog readers about ideas on what would make a good care package.

Please keep my mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers!

Here's what I've got so far for a care package! Throw in your ideas!

WOU t-shirt
Chocolate
Unscented lotion
All natural lip balm
Tea
Puzzles
Music
Blanket

Thankful

Another experience this week has made me very thankful for the things that I have, especially my wonderful and loving husband.

The other day my husband got called into work early because his co-worker's estranged boyfriend/husband (not sure)  attacked her in the parking lot as she got out of her car.  The guy apparently punched her in the face and tried to choke her.  Just a few weeks ago she left with her young child to live with friends because of the abuse.

Bryce was called in by the assistant manager who found out about the attack only because she happened to be passing by and wanted to check on her friend.  The police were still there when Bryce arrived and the victim was  there just beaten terribly.   She did not initially want to press charges, but was eventually convinced because there were a lot of witnesses.  The police asked her to stay, but she left soon after the police did, because she learned that her boyfriend had went after her friends and kidnapped their young child.

I don't know any more at this point since Bryce said he did not hear anymore that evening.

I can only hope that the jerk is arrested or has been arrested and that her child is returned to her and she has a safe place to stay.  

Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon story as horrible as it is.  I feel so badly for people in abusive relationships ( I say 'people' because men can be abused too).  It takes so much courage to walk away from them and even then, as in her case, the terror does not always stop.

I feel so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who would never hurt anyone, especially me.  The man saves worms from drowning in puddles for heaven's sake.

I've never met this woman, but I feel so sad for her.  I wish there was something I could do, but I'm sure the police offered to take her to the hospital and a shelter, etc.  If anyone has an idea of something helpful, please let me know.

Abuse is so wrong.

The Kindness of Strangers

Yesterday I had an experience that literally shook me to the core, blew my mind, etc.

I must tell you that this month has been particularly difficult for us financially.  We've all been there, unexpected expenses, like a speeding ticket (me) or medical expenses.  Bryce and I are pretty good with our money, but the reality is, it's just difficult given my salary and then Bryce's part-time, irregular earnings.  Fortunately, we don't have credit card debt, car loans, house loans, school loans, etc.  We are debt free and yet we struggle each paycheck.  Some of it is that we eat out a little too much or buy coffee too much, gas is RIDICULOUS, but mostly we're just er...poor,I guess lol.  Anyways, back to the point...

I stood in line yesterday waiting to pay for a few groceries, hoping that I had enough to buy them with the $11.00 in my bank account and $6.00 in my other debit account ( we're in the process of switching banks).  After the final item was rung, I saw that I might not have enough and I knew we had used up our EBT card money, so I put a few things back.  Insufficient funds.  I told the clerk I would put some on one card then some on another. Insufficient funds.   Sufficiently embarrassed I stood there wondering what to do.  Waremart does not accept credit cards and oh yeah, I shredded my purposefully.  All I wanted was to buy a few things for my friends birthday party. 

The woman behind me motioned and the clerk said "are you sure?" and before I knew it, she had swiped her EBT card to cover my $7.99.  I was stunned and touched.  I turned to her and said thank you, and she just nodded in understanding.  

Once I got back to the car, I just bawled, upset, embarrassed and touched by a strangers' kindness.  All I could think was would I help someone in the same situation?  I would like to hope so, but I'm not sure. 
This tiny little Mexican woman was with her family.  She had other mouths to feed and well not to sound judgmental, but she probably made less money than I normally make.  And yet she still extended her generosity without much of a thought. 

Having recovered my composure, I drove home and had a wonderful time with friends, but the whole time I was thinking about that woman.  Later that night as I went through my receipts in my purse, I looked at the receipts from earlier that evening, one had my items listed and the debit payment and the other was an EBT receipt listing what had been paid for and how much was left.

$29.21

This woman had only $29.21 left on her card and she still covered for me. 

I'm still blown away.

Granted, the benefits renew each month on the day of the last number of your social security, so somewhere between 0 and 9, but still it was an incredible thing for her to do especially at the end of the month.

I can only hope that some day I will be able to return that generosity.  


Money is a difficult thing to talk about it.  It's even more difficult to admit you just can't afford some things.  I'm very independent and I don't like to ask for help, especially when it comes to money which increases my anxiety about it.  We have to hold our heads up high and say, it's ok to be poor lol, because the reality is everyone in this economy is struggling in one way or another.  More importantly we need to be thankful for what we do have.  I may have no money in my bank account, but I also have no debt, all my bills are paid, a nice apartment, clothes to wear and a wonderful family that loves me.

 This is all that matters in life.  To have what we need.

Re:little things

After reading Organic Eloquence's recent post I wanted to post my own "little things" blog. It really came at a good time too.  I just came back from a short vacation to a very crappy week at work, but this post really gave me some perspective on the whole situation.   It's so easy to get wrapped up in what we're doing and to think that it's so unbelievably important, when well, it's really not. I never want to become someone where the job is everything to me and I neglect myself and my family and friends.

We can't control other people's actions, but we can control how we respond.  

At the end of the day it's not your job that tucks you in, gives you a big hug, makes you dinner, or gives you puppy kisses. 

http://just-littlethings.tumblr.com/page/6

TAGGED! WHAT?!

 "Oh you mean the hoo ha scene?!"-Adrienne

I iz tagged yo.

 
Places I Go:
1.  WOU Campus (my work, the library, the music hall, I'm all over campus)
2.  My apartment just down the street from work! 
3.  Oregon coast
4.  Dallas Good Will ( I love tinkering and buying interesting pictures frames or wall hangings.  It's amazing what people give away)

Favorite Smells:
1. Fabric Softener/Clean Laundry
2. Fresh cut grass
3. Clean puppy!
4. Coffee -reminds me of my childhood. 

TV Shows:
1.  Iron Chef
2.  Chopped
3.  30 Rock
4. South Park

Movies:
1.  Enchanted
2.  Kill Bill
3.  Inception
4.  Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Recommendations:
1. Work to live, don't live to work
2. Laugh
3. Eat dark chocolate, it's nom nom nom

4. Occasionally have a day where you don't do anything.

Favorite Things To Do:
1. Go on a drive through the country
2. Go on a dairy queen run!  Cherry Dip Cones are my favorite!
3. Be active, walk, hike, bike, swim
4.  Cook for friends/family

Dislikes:
1. Energy Vampires
2. Whiny McWhiners
3. People who are angry all the time! Count your blessings people!
4. People who are rude to fast food clerks, grocery store clerks, etc.

Kelly Update

It's been a while since I posted pictures of Kelly. Enjoy!

Kelly loves to steal socks...

And sleep under Bryce's desk in the office

She also enjoys a good game of Yahtzee.

I haz it

Millions of people in the U.S. and around the world struggle with depression everyday.  I'm one of millions.  Some days I'm scared to go out in public. I sleep all day and lay awake all night with anxiety, which is just the other side of the same coin.  I cry for no reason, I'm angry, resentful.  I can't focus.

And yet we (doctors, scientist, psychologists) still do not completely understand the cause of depression. We try to manage it with medication, therapy, exercise and healthy eating but sometimes we plummet into that dark hole despite our best efforts.  Sometimes its a life event, sometimes there's no trigger at all.  But that does not keep us from feeling so numb, angry, desperate, wanting to cry, sob,  locked down. 

Depression interferes with every aspect of my life.  My work, my relationships, my physical health.  And yes, depression hurts, just like in the commercials.  Sometimes I feel physical pain.  For the most part though, I function quite well. I'm quite adept at hiding it, a very bad habit I have developed.  I have relapses though, and this week has been one of the worst.  I called in "sick" to work two days in a row.  I finally called my doctor to say "Hey, this isn't working, I need something to help me sleep".  Luckily, I have an excellent doctor who has a lot of experience and knowledge when working with people with depression.  I am now on track to feeling better, but I anticipate the sadness and exhaustion to continue for another week until my new medication kicks in.

If I were to give any advice to others suffering from depression it would be the following. Don't hide it.  Talk about it.  And don't let others tell you to "snap out of it".  It does not work that way. Be aware of your own unique issues and patterns of depression.

Most of all, keep moving. One step at a time.  One sock, one shoe, next sock, next shoe.

$45.97

Today was our 5 year anniversary; of being a couple, not married of course, but we still like to celebrate.  As I stated in one of my past posts, it is also piggy day.

And the total money saved in Piggy, $45.97!  Not bad!

"Geeking Out"

I am a major fan of science fiction and fantasy novels.  Recently I finished the first of a trilogy, well more like the first of a second trilogy of a series of nine books.  They are the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R Donaldson.  These are excellent books and a bit of a challenging read.  As I was finishing the last chapter the other night I wondered to myself how often we skim over words we don't know or just "kind of know"  without actually trying to look them up.  In our culture of faster fast faster I think we've been taught to read fast, which is good for some things, but not if you want to savor good literature.  And yes naysayers there is some excellent sci-fi and fantasy writing out there. So with this book I challenged myself to write down every word I did not know, even the ones that I thought I knew but just was not totally sure.  A few notes before I start, I did not not include multiple definitions, just the one that (I think) fits in the context of my novel; I do not list IPA or related forms.  If you want to know more look it up yourself! Here goes:

irrefragable-not to be disputed or contested

etiolated-to cause to become weakened or sickly; drain of color or vigor.

intransigence-refusing to agree or compromise;uncompromising;inflexible

mordantly-sharply caustic or sarcastic, as wit or a speaker;biting. Burning;corrosive.

desuetude-the state of being no longer used or practiced

excoriations-a raw irritated lesion (as of the skin or a mucosal surface).  the act of abrading or wearing off the skin.

architraves-the lowermost member of a classical entablature, resting originally upon columns.  2.  a molded or decorated band framing a panel or an opening, as of a door or window.

roborant-strengthening, a tonic.

obloquy-censure, blame or abusive language aimed at a person or thing.  Discredit, disgrace or bad repute from public blame, abuse or denunciation.

hagriding-to afflict with worry, dread, need or the like;torment

vitiating-to impair the quality of;make faulty;spoil; to impair or weaken the effectiveness of;to debase;corrupt.

concatenation-a series of interconnected or interdependent things or events.

celerity-swiftness, speed.

suzerainty-the position, power or dignity of a suzerain.  suzerain: a sovereign or a state exercising political control over a dependent state. History/Historical: a feudal overlord.

febrifuge-serving to dispel or reduce fever, as a medicine; such a medicine or agent;a cooling drink.

chancrous-the initial lesion of syphilis and certain other infectious diseases, commonly a more or less distinct ulcer or sore with a hard base.

stertorously-characterized by stertor or heavy snoring; breathing in this manner.

lambent-running or moving lightly over a surface, softly bright or radiant, dealing lightly and gracefully with a subject.

chrism-a consecrated oil, usually mixed with balsam or balsam and spices, used by certain chruches in various rites as in baptism, confirmation and the like.

flagellant-a person who flagellates or scourges him or herself for religious discipline.

malison-a curse

susurrus-a soft murmuring or rustling sound;whisper.

limned-to represent in drawing or painting, to portray in words;describe.

gravid-pregnant; full of meaning; highly significant; a pregnant utterance.

mephitic-offensive to the smell;noxious;pestilential;poisonous

unambergrised-see definition of ambergris below. I'm guessing the book is more referring to the color.

             ambergis-an opaque, ash-colored secretion of the sperm whale intestine, usually foudning floating on the ocean or cast ashore;used in perfumery.

anoxia-an abnormally low amount of oxygen in the body tissues;hypoxia;the mental and physical disturbances that occur as a result of hypoxia.

inviolable-prohibiting violation;secure from destruction, violence, infringement or desecration.

castigate-to criticize or reprimand severely

vitiated-to impair the quality or;make faulty;spoil

charnel-a repository for dead bodies.

anodyne-a medicine that relives or allays pain.

travertine-a form of limestone deposited by springs, especially hot springs.

caducity-the infirmity or weakness of old age;senility;frailty;transitoriness.

nacre-mother of pearl

irenic-tending to promote peace or reconciliation;peaceful or conciliatory.

periapt-an amulet

sabulous-sandy;gritty. 

obverse-a counterpart

One last note, sometimes I feel like authors just like to pick up the Thesaurus and have at it while writing, but in Donaldson's writing, his vocabulary does not feel forced or, well to put it plainly "bullshitty".

Hey crazy change lady

Like my 31flavors buddy Adrienne, I too collect change.  A few years ago, Bryce and I painted a piggy bank together at a local ceramic shop Create-A-Memory.  As you can see in the picture above, we painted him all kinds of crazy colors and we had a great time doing it.  Although it looks like a five year old painted it, we still cherish Piggy (yes that is his proper name) and fill him up with spare change as we find it. 

We have made a tradition of emptying Piggy as well.  Every March 14th, which is our dating anniversary, is also "Piggy Day" and we empty him and count up the money like eager children and take it to the bank.  One year we had almost a $100!  Other years it's like $20, but we use it on whatever we want, usually a dinner out or something just plain silly.  

Bugs

I don't mind bugs, really I don't. With the exception of large spiders, I'm not really freaked out by bugs.  However, if you are a bug in my house, I will smash you or get Bryce (the bug whisperer) to escort you out on a paper towel.
Apparently though, not everyone shares my immunity to bugs.  Case in point, a coworker of mine who has renamed these harmless creatures.  

I've always called them Slow Walker Bugs, but apparently that is incorrect as I found out through the magic of Google in an effort to find a picture to irritate my co-worker.  In fact they are actually called Western Boxelder bugs or Boisea rubrolineata:


Courtesy of http://nathistoc.bio.uci.edu/hemipt/Western%20Boxelder%20Bug.htm
"The Western Box-elder Bug belongs to the family of scentless plant bugs (Rhopalidae). It has a bright red abdomen and three red lines running lengthwise along the dorsal prothorax.
These bugs feed on box-elder, maple and ash trees; sometimes the adults eat fruit. They nearly always remain on female or seed-bearing trees, and seem to avoid male or staminate trees.
Box-elder Bugs overwinter as adults, often aggregating in dry sheltered places, including human dwellings. They emerge during the first warm days of spring, when they can be seen swarming in the air and crawling over vegetation in large numbers. Locally, the Box-elder Bug is especially abundant in the canyons bordering the Los Angeles basin. Adults can often be found in these canyons on warm spring days. "

But alas, these poor innocent creatures are hated by many and have been renamed by my co-worker as :

"Creepy ass window screen cleaners"
Boisea rubrolineata :  "exceptionally creepy shadow casters when sun shines through window screens"

Ok, I guess they are a little creepy...